I have just scrolled through a year’s worth of text messages from Jackie and was not surprised to find that the most used phrase is:

‘Fancy a drink?’

Nor was I surprised to see that I moaned and ranted a lot and Jackie didn’t.

I was pleased to see we did fit in some culture between the Black Boy, St James Tavern and ‘Spoons (Jackie’s preference not mine). There was a trip to see the play of Jane Eyre, and a talk about Keats. Several texts relate to our trip to London on a self-guided Blake walk and a stay at The St Pancras Hotel. The extravagant choice of hotel was in reaction to a particularly depressing scan.  Another uncharacteristic extravagance for Jackie, linked to that trip, was the purchase of a new phone prompted by the need to download the Blake app!

The most surprising text is the one Jackie sent me from Corsica, telling me she was enjoying sun, sea and sand, when only days before she had been rushed to hospital with unbearable pain. This sequence of events resulted in the use of Lazarus as her new name in a number of texts.

Jackie told me she wanted to focus on life and not death and she did her utmost to abide by this mantra. The last messages I have from her all relate to arrangements for the English Christmas do. Jackie was the driving force behind any work gatherings and it always puzzled me why the most private person in the English department was also the one who placed such importance on these traditions and rituals but she always managed to galvanise the cynics, the anti-social and the ‘I’m too tireds’.  The faculty party at her house was always lovely and briefly brought together two important strands in her life: family and work.

The last time I saw Jackie was at the hospice. She was very weak and tired, drifting in and out of sleep. I was moaning about the forthcoming parents’ evening and she suddenly jolted to attention and said ‘Should I be there?’.  This typical display of dedication to work from Jackie drew a string of expletives from me and it was the last time I heard her laugh. As I left her that day, she blew me a kiss; I have it still.